Topsy Turvy

Kudos to anyone who thinks this is going to be about Gilbert & Sullivan. It's not.

Had a busy but mostly enjoyable weekend! Went out on Friday night to the most famous Irish bar in Helsinki, Molly Malone's (wouldn't it be great to see an Irish bar abroad called "An Teach Tabhairne" or something, rather than the usual old "Kitty O Shea's etc) for some free live music. At the door the band had a poster advertising themselves "All Fired Up - Tonight!" It proclaimed, above a caricature of Mephistopheles, you knew the kind, smirking, pointy goatee, the works. So a hard rock band then. Inside, after a good hours wait, the band took the stage, and the assumption seemed vindicated: they came replete with long hair, tattoes, and inverted-crucifix pendants. This was going to be hard: "Good evening, ladies and gentleman," said the lead singer, a little too, well, Swedishly, "We are All Fired Up!". At this the drums kicked in, and they launched into a redition of... Breakfast at Tiffiny's... followed by some CCR, Brown Eyed Girl, and everyone's favourite piece of cheese, "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet", which they performed without shame, in fact proudly proclaiming afterwards "Bachmann Turner Overdrive!!" afterwards. Disappointing.


The next day I went to IKEA in Espoo to buy some lights. A surreal experience, I got the same bus I used to travel home on last year, got off at my old apartment block at Kiltakallio, and surmised that nothing had changed. It felt like something should have changed. In any case the rain drumming on the shelter, and radiohead drumming in my ears made for a thoughtful sound-track, and I sat there pondering mutability until my connecting bus arrived.

IKEA is a scary place. A vast, sprawling, warehouse disguised as a department store, milling with 30-somethings seeking home improvement nirvana. I found the set of lights I'd been looking for, and headed to the check-outs, which were literally hundreds of metres away. Waiting in one of 20 queues started me pondering materialism, consumerism, and modern society (I guess I was in a big-thoughts mood). I may rant about these issues at a later date.

I came back to the office to pick up my amp, and do some downloading, and got a text from Agathe - herself and Gilles (the French contingent) were off to play some pool, was I interested... The Corona Bar is an excellent spot a few steps from Kamppi metro station. They have about 12 pool tables, a moderate going rate (€8 an hour) and play good music. In short it was a great night.

Agathe is an aspiring pool shark, and Gilles isn't too bad - plus he likes to indulge in a bit of gamesmanship in the form of laughter inducement:

Are you sure? You have the angle right? Really sure. Ok. Certain?... So the games were challenging. After a couple of rounds Agathe's roommate and his friends showed up. It transpires that Agathe's roommate is Deimar, a Russian programmer who came on our paintball trip last year, so we knew each other! Talk about a small world!

Anyway, he is a true poolshark, and with 6 people in total we could play winner stays in pairs. After performing embarresingly at the onset of the evening, I started to warm up and strung together one 4 ball run I'm really proud of. I'm telling you now, and one day, I shall tell my grandchildren all about it. Fluffed the black though, but there you go. I got to pedal Agathe's bike home after all was said and done; she preferring to drive home with Diemar quand elle a trop bu. I have got to get a bike, it was great!

The next day, I foolishly decided to go to Linninmaki with Tove

since it was on her shortlist of things to do before she leaves. Linninmaki being the amusement park close to where I live. Right. I was excited, because I'd never been on a rollercoaster before! After paying €24 for a day pass, she talked me into two violent rides (no, amusement park rides, behave!) consecutively - the pointless kind that just spin you around. After the first I was a little queasy, but during the second I acquired that special kind of naseousness where you wish you were dead. I sat everything out for the next two hours (walking made me feel ill) but went on a couple more rides as the day progressed and my stomach calmed. I even managed three of the four rollercoasters, but they weren't really as pleasurable as they might have been. Oh, and at the top of the ferris wheel I took some photos of my Apartment block: mine is the middle one.


We traipsed from there to central Helsinki for some food (Mexican, of course, she really should move there instead of Ireland!) Then I came in to work to pick up my lights and my amp, which I was itching to play! Got home around 12, realised that installing the lights is going to require some equipment and time, found that the amp is a joy to play, and went to bed. Pretty damn good all in all :)

Wired for sound

Friday again! Friday is Finnish day, when I have a one and a half (or "puolitoista") hour class in this strange(everything gets conjugated), precise (ie a word for 1.5), language. Today we covered everything from greetings and some basic verbs, to "What would you do in the following situation: someone tries to snatch your handbag at the train station". Now personally, I'd be very surprised if I found myself in this situation, my initial response being "Where the fuck did that handbag come from?!" I was just struggling to put this together in Finnish (I'd gotten as far as "come", we haven't covered evocative verbs yet) when one of my classmates beat me to it. Turns out the right answer was "Apua! Varas!" or "Help! Thief!".

I've just come back from downtown Helsinki. I stepped out to buy something to eat, and wound up in a guitar shop buying a practise amp. I still haven't managed to eat. At all today, in fact. Amps, though fantastic things, are not flavoursome. They can, however help you exact revenge on the kind of neighbours that hire workmen to drill and bang between the hours of 7 and 10.30 am but never later!! This means, after I finally nod off at 2 or 3 (or 4 or 5) in the morning, I get a few measly hours sleep before being shocked awake by the sound of drills (alarm clock manufacturers' research indicates that drill sounds are unsuitable for rousing sleepers - these sounds, and I quote from 'American Alarmclocks Almanac': "frequently elicit cardiac arrest, rather than
the desired awakening effect"). Then, after dozing fitfully for a while waiting for the sounds, I pass out and realise it's 11.41! Why would they stop like that!! It's all a plot isn't it, they have it all planned, oh they think they're so clever... well we'll see who's clever when I start belting out Darkness covers at 5am on Sunday
morning! Hee heee heheheee...
And deep breath...

Must eat now, take care

God, the Devil and Dave

I spied a man on the tram today. He was casually leaning against the railing at the tram-stop, and looked exactly like "god" from "God the Devil and Bob" (so he looked like James Garner then, yes, but let me run with it...). This reminded me of a leaflet some pious shambler was doling out at the metro station earlier this week: "Salvation or Religion". The oxymoron prompted a read:

I have travelled all over the world. The thing which has amazed me the most is the many different religions. Every country has its own kind. Many countries have many kinds

So far so good, but then: All of these religions cannot be right... No religion can save. Even the Christian religion cannot save you. Jesus Christ is the only saviour...

Who says all religions can't be right (or, more arrogantly, that all relgions are false!)? What hubris (and how typical) to declare your faith, alone, valid.

In matters of belief I generally favour pluralism, which would imply that all beliefs are equally valid. However, if a religion preaches something that is inherintly morally offensive (murder for instance) does that nullify the belief system? Whose to say the denouncing moral system is sound - especially since it may be based on another religious system which brings us back to the start.

Issues like this frustrate me - I search for, I need, a solution, when it's just a judgement. Anyway it made me think, and if you'd like to comment feel free (help me out here Annie & Sean, pretend we're in Europe).

The irony that the paper promotes a religion will be lost on subscribers.

From God to the Devil, or Divils (only Irish people with give Satan a pet name) who promote software patents. I signed a petition yesterday urging the head of the company to encourage the EU to abandon the idea (it felt like the height of cockiness to question the top-most levels of management after 3 weeks work!). Alex tells me he's involved in a flame war with a pro-patent die hard. Tellingly this pro-person
1) works in management
2) comes from a Chemical Engineering background
3) displays complete ignorance about the process of software writing
4) sees fit to challenge Alex (a damn competent programmer, and author of multiple open source projects) on the issue

I'll stop now, because I know I'm either preaching to the converted or the uninterested (unless a randomer happens along)

Finally, to tie what now seems like a bad idea all together: Dave had Sushi for the second time ever, in a very unusual Japanese restaurant named Kabuki. The main themes of the interior design were Japanese countryside, and Finnish Ice Hockey... Put it down to cross-culturalism.

The next most exciting thing to have happened him recently was his purchasing of a new pair of shoes in order to avoid being banned from the building on health and safety grounds. He was mightilty impressed by Timberland, who do half sizes and various width fittings. He also recommends the Battlefield 1918 mod, plenty of excercise, and a balance diet.

I'm taking a break from documenting algorithms, and I'm loath to return to the slog, so instead I'll conveniently provide reference material:

God the Devil and Bob
Richard Stallman on Software Patents
Kabuki
Timberland
Battlefield 1918

Take care

Wahoo!

I'm currently elated because (I think) my program is working :) I can leave here a happy man!

In other news, here is a picture of me piloting a 9 metre boat below the motorway across Helsinki bay:


This was no mere pleasure cruise - every year in Helsinki, four fireworks companies have an annual contest to see who's got the biggest rocket, so to speak. The event is called "The Bombardment of Suommenlinna" - an island in the bay. Obviously the best place to see the bombardment is as close to said island as possible, hence the boat (it's Joonas's by the way, I didn't just pick up a boat, really...)

Anyway, the displays were spectacular, and it was great fun jockeying for position with massive million dollar yachts on one side and kayaks on the other. Plus I learned a thing or two about maritime navigation (or at least I pretended I did, and we didn't crash, so it appears I did... excellent!)

The weekend was pretty much spent climbing, or making up for sleep or work I missed during the week. I got Battlefield 1942 on my laptop, and dear god I hadn't realised how fast this thing was! It runs seamlessly, I'm considering buying Doom now (but Jimminy Cricket says to wait till I have my own machine...).

What else... I've got my eye on some nice bikes here, still got no furniture in the flat, am damn hungry so I'm off soon.

Currently getting all nostalgic listening to Damien Rice, missing people/things/Dublin more this week...

But the program works so all is good,
Take care :)

Home Sweet Home

I thought it would never happen: after running all over the city meeting people and filling in forms (God above I hate paperwork!), they gave me a big jangly bunch of keys! Yay! And so I moved in to my apartment (address on asking :P ). It's a little bare at the moment. I have a fridge, a cooker, and... well that's it. After all was sorted I went climbing with Joonas and Markus, and sent (read: made light work of) a Finnish 5+ grade route, which is nothing to the lads but was a big achievement for me! I was just sitting there (here's the view - note, that blue thing at the bottom is my bed at the minute!)

feeling really good about myself when Markus's head popped up. He climbed the whole damn thing solo (without a rope) which took the sheen off a little :)

After climbing we picked Alex up in town and headed to my new abode where we had a candle-lit house warming... because I have no lights. It's not that I have no bulbs mind, and I don't by the way, it's just that I also have no fixtures. I have wires, and a hook. Here, take a look:

Anyway it was really nice, and very atmospheric. I wish I'd run outside to see what all those candles lined up on a 6th floor windowsill looked like :)

Which reminds me - a shop assistant refused to sell my a cigarette lighter with the candles without a passport. Now, either it's illegal to purchase cigarette lighters withough ID at all over here, or she thought I looked under the legal smoking age - which is 18!! So instead she sold me matches... crazy country!

So that's where I am at the minute. I'm off to get a bed asap, and some lights, and the rest I'll accumulate over time I guess.

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th turned out to be my lucky day :) I viewed an
apartment in Pasila, liked that it was big, airy, bright, and on the
6th floor, and willing to forgive its distance from work. It's as
naked as a centrefold model, furnished with only a fridge and a
cooker, neither of which work because I have no electricity contract,
but I can (and will) move in on Monday if all goes well. I'll just
buy some candles and a rug or something.

Finally I'll be out of the damn hotel. Being there has prolonged the
sense of transition; now I need a bit of finality and reality -
signing a 5 year lease should bring both. Either it still hasn't
quite sunk in that I'm here for good, or it has and it was a lot
easier to accept than I anticipated.

Now I'm hungry, so I'm off to rustle up a roll. Roast beef I think... yeah.

Take care all

Out and about

I've only been at work sporadically today. After under two hours I vamoosed to Toolo on the tram to view an apartment. Hmm, apartment seems to generous a term, considering the entire property to be rented was probably smaller than my hotel room. At EUR550 a month all inclusive it's cheap for Helsinki, and I'm seriously considering it. Any of you planning to come visit would have approved of the sofa-bed (folding thinguma-jig, you know what I mean). Made it back to the office for another quick burst, before pushing off to Chez Dominique...

Chez Dominique is Finland's premier restaurant, having earned itself not one but two Michelin stars. It's superlative fare entitles it to be superlatively expensive, and in the evenings it is. However, for some unknown reason, they've decided to devote lunch times to making themselves fiscally accessible to the likes of me, sort of :) Joonas had been there before, for a product launch or something, and was keen to return, so last week he booked a table for himself, myself and Alex. The original plan was to celebrate my first paycheque, but apparantly next week couldn't come soon enough :) Anyway...

The service was crazy - they spread our napkins, kept our glasses (water for all, we like to really splash out) permantly topped up, and before dessert the waiter produced a special scraper for removing any unwelcome bread-crumbs from the table-cloth! Those pesky bread-crumbs, they spoil a meal so. As for the food: spectacular. To be honest I'm not sure what most of it was, but it was damn tasty, possibly the best food I've ever eaten. Easily the most extravagant.

We made it back to work eventually, where I stayed for a whole hour, before rushing off to view a rediculously expensive apartment in the nice part of town. In this I was completely unsuccessful: I got off the bus at the wrong place, wandered around for a about half an hour, and gave up. Made it back soon enough where I managed to string together a whole hour and a half before rushing off to the island west of where I work to look at a very reasonable spot close to the shore. It's main failing is that it won't be ready for two weeks. If needs be I could find someone willing to donate a floor, but I'd really like to get settled.

Back again, will probably stay for an hour or two to make up for my absences...

Hotel Sokos should be twinned with Hotel California. Every apartment
I become interested in immediately disappears from the market, or
turns out to be lived-in for the next 4 months, or must be rented by a
female etc. It's becoming very frustrating. I've one viewing lined
up for tomorrow, and one for Friday so hopefully I'll make it out by
the weekend. Saturday is my deadline.

First Friday

I've had a really eventful few days. On Tuesday I went bouldering with (cue cheesy theme tune)
Joonas

Matti

and Henkka


where my 7 month climbing sabbatical became evident... here you can clearly see me wimpering like a little girl :)

I probably challenged the world record for "most insect bites on the ankles" - I've now got a thought provoking mosaic of spots, from teenie red ones to bulging deep purple. Little bastards!

I managed to chat to a few people on Matrix for a while on Wednesday, which was great! The weather was really beautiful, so after work some of us hit the beach and chilled, which was fine by me, since it was about all I was able to do after the previous days heroics.

Yesterday I went climbing again, this time real climbing at Rollarit (almost impossible for me to say - I can't roll my r's). I tried two routes that were way too hard for me, and failed both attempts... but next time! During the course of this I managed to get bitten again, most significantly three times on the palm of my hand! The palm! It's itching like crazy - bastards!!

Any lack of success in climbing was evened out by complete and total administrative success - The relocation arranged for myself and Gilles, another newbie staying in Hotel Sokos Pasila to go into town. She sorted out a bank account, tax card and social security number. Even better, my tax rate was calculated on my gross earning this year, so I fall into the 19.5% bracket, woo! Anyway, after climbing we returned to my hotel and had dinner with Gilles, which was an expensive but excellent assortment of tapas. We two hotel birds were sick of eating by ourselves. Have I told you about the breakfasts they put on at the hotels? All kinds of everything (except a decent fry) but the crown in the platter is their pancakes... mmm. Makes getting up easier :)

So that's about it for now. First week nearly over, I still feel like I'm playing catch up, and on Monday the real work begins...

Hei hei it´s Helsinki!

Hei from Helsinki. Arrived yesterday evening in Vaanta Airport at about 7pm local time, and then, in true Dave fashion, managed to take 2 and a half hours to get to my hotel. How? It goes a little something like this:

Me: "Most heartfelt greetings good cabby, pray, how much doth thou charge to city centre?
Cabby: "Greetings and welcome smelly traveller, why €20 for my honest toil"
Me: "Excellent, good sir, consider me your charge"
Cabby: "And where pray is your destination?"
Me: "Why Hotel Sokos my good fellow, post haste!"
Cabby: "Very good sir, but which one?"
Me: "Eh?"
Cabby: "Sokos Hotel Torni, Sokos Hotel Kaus Kurki, Sokos Hotel Vaakuna, Sokos Hotel Pasila, or Sokos Hotel Helsinki?"
Me: "Er, oh..., er, Helsinki"
Cabby: "Yes sir..."

And so we went on our merry way, my excellent friend dropping me plum in the centre of Helsinki, where not sixty seconds later myself and a very helpful receptionist ascertained that my reservation was with a Sokos elsewhere. I say very helpful, because he then went on the phone each and every branch to see if they had me on their books. Finally it was discovered I should be in Pasila. Now anyone who knows Helsinki knows that the distance from the city centre to Pasila is considerable. Especially with a guitar and a full case the size of a wardrobe. One quick train journey later, and a lone trek through the teeming metropolis that is Pasila and I was home.

I'm currently scouring the net for accommodation, but it's much more expensive than I thought. On the other hand I'm typing on my brand new IBM T41 (specs on request), and sitting beside it is my equally shiny Nokia 7610. At least I've something to play with tonight instead of watching TV (don't run with that comment, this is a family blog).

It feels really strange to be back here, it's a bit like going into a timewarp: very little has changed in the last 12 months or so. Just spent 45 minutes having coffee with Joonas and Alex, and it could very well have been last summer. Anyway, it's 20:26, I'm off to do a bit of shopping before closing time.

I'm missing you all at home, keep in touch and take care...